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Considering how much you loved my beard, I take pride in the fact that your new boyfriend doesn’t/can’t grow one.
I haven’t quite reached a point where I felt I could calm my mind for a moment and just write.
This is not that time.
In a way I never would have predicted; I have peace in this whirlwind of change. I’m breathing in a new air. My chest is full of hope and contentment.
And, finally, I can just… breathe.
This life. This adventure (as small as it may seem at times) is good. It is better than good.
I can’t see over my fucking steering wheel. Ever seen a Bubbie driving a Mercury Sable, her purple hair barely clearing the dash? That’s me in my stupid boat of an Altima. I knew I couldn’t fit. I told the guy at the dealership I was too small. Dad said I was fine.
Today proved that I am NOT fucking fit to drive that car. And I’m stuck with another large stupid bill to pay.
Great. Fucking great. Great. Great. Fuckiting Great. Can’t wait to talk to Dad about this one…
Oh. And- did I mention? Ohio state law requires anyone under the height of 4’9 to be in a CHILD RESTRAINING SEAT. How can I sit in a car seat when I’m driving the fucking thing?
There. I ranted.
Still feel like shit. But.
STL CARDS FTW.
RIP Steve Jobs.
[I can’t believe I was inspired to write on this topic, but tonight, I found myself again doing that thing people do sometimes… “feelings” or whatever they call it. Perhaps it’s because I miss my homies.]
There’s a scene in “Love Actually,” where Emma Thompson told her cheating Warlock of a hubby: ”Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught your cold English wife how to feel.” Well, I feel like that when I listen to Adele. Trolling the Internets, I listened to Adle’s performance on NPR’s The Best of World Cafe of “Someone Like You,” and no matter how many times I hear it, I love it more. I know the pain she sings through. Know the bittersweet message all-to-well. That song brings all those emotions flushed into my cheeks— but in the best way possible. Reminds me that I once did have a love with someone that I thought was perfect…just not right at the time. And you never know who is out there in my future so… I’ll just be picky til then. I loved a truly amazing guy. No one can top him just yet. And I deserve nothing less.